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La Tour De Naldehra

The road goes on

Last Sunday I went on another cycle trip by my self and it turned out to be great fun. I rode almost 45 km all the way to Naldehra Golf Course. The initial part had a lot of steep slopes near my home and I pushed my bike up most of them instead of trying to ride them. But after Navbahar it was almost 20 km of pleasant road all the way to Naldehra. There's a very slight slope from Dhali to Mashobra but all downhill after that. What I forgot was that downhill one way is uphill while coming back. While going downhill I was enjoying the ride, wondering why more people don't do it. I found that out while coming back up.

I felt free on the downhill, the wind in my hair, summer scents in the air, early morning fresh light. I felt weightless. I made plans to do this every week. I starting making plans of wonderful tours all over India. But then I reached my destination. Had a little breakfast there and started back up. That's when the real cycling began. Trying to concentrate on the technique, trying to maintain a good cadence. Head down and pedaling hard. Trying to change gears at the right time. And soon all dreams were lost. I was in the moment. Breathing every breath consciously. Feeling every heart beat like a singular event in time. And I wondered why I had been so foolish to come so far without knowing what kind of terrain it was. Without being prepared for it. I decided no more trips for me till I lose weight and get fit. It was a hard 11 km uphill. Well it was hard for me. I rode 5 km but my legs just gave up after that. After that it was a little bit of riding, then a little bit of rest, then a lot of pushing and repeat. By the end of it I had a new found respect for the Tour de France riders. They really are superhuman! It's like running a marathon everyday for 3 weeks!

By the time I reached Mashobra and the uphill that I had climbed easily while coming turned into downhill. An atheist thanked God at that moment and simultaneously realized how silly we humans are to thank God for something that was always there. It's our fragility that makes us believe in God and thank him when we surpass our own expectations. If only we had more faith in ourselves. Apart from this epiphany what I also realized as I came back home on an all downhill road, was that I actually enjoyed the uphill part more. That's what cycling is about. Cyclists are masochists. They don't cycle for the 'wind in the hair' feeling of a descent. They cycle for the 'oh man I'll believe in God if I make this climb' feeling. And that's how we should live life as well. Pursuit of happiness has its own place, I say live for the pleasure of pain. Sadness, pain, sorrow, that's what teaches us, makes us who we are. That's what helps us find ourselves. Be thankful for the tough times. Enjoy the tough times. The happy times will be that much more sweeter.

went across this mountain and a little bit more

The Storm

The storm came suddenly

and like only it could,

dampened my spirits, as I

fell into troubled sleep.

As I started to dream

the storm entered my head

and violated my grey matter

and washed all my thoughts away.

My heart broke at this great loss

and I cried tearlessly in my sleep.

But when I woke up the sky had cleared.

The storm had passed. It had stopped raining.

Image courtesy Lynn Stenzel

11 Weeks into Freelance Writing

Keep Writing!

11 weeks ago I decided to follow my passion and try and become a freelance writer. I had tried to do something similar about a year ago but I had found writing for money too un-idealistic for me. It seemed like a plan to sell out and god forbid if a grunge rocker ever sold out!

But then I saw the other side of the argument. While I was working on ships in my previous job I would find it a chore and wouldn't like it. When I would be at home I would be too comfortable to write seriously. My dream of becoming a professional writer could have still come true had I continued like that but it would have taken a long time.

And then I realised, the definition of professional is to get paid for your work. I did not have to wait many years till I slowly wrote the perfect novel to become a professional writer. All I needed was one paying job and I would technically be a professional writer.

It started as just an experiment to achieve this goal of becoming a professional writer, even if only a part time one. I never thought that I would not be going back for sailing again. But 11 weeks into this little experiment and I don't feel like ever going back.

It's not like I have become very successful as a freelance writer. I am still struggling. I am about be bankrupt but then I was about to be bankrupt when I had started so actually I have managed to survive these 11 weeks. I know things will get better in the future but financial stability is not the reason why I don't feel like going back to my old job. It's because that was a job and this is not a job. It doesn't feel like a job. Although I learned quickly to look at it as a job in order to be competent freelance writer but even after my shift in attitude towards writing it still doesn't feel like a job. What I mean is that I don't feel like I'm working at all. All of it is fun. Sitting and writing for 7 hours a day on someone else's projects is fun.

Thankfully I didn't take boring jobs of SEO writing and only took creative ghost writing jobs. So far I have written 4 ebooks and I am working on a 5th. I have also written a few articles. I have made a little bit of money and even though I am positive of making more money in the future, it isn't even a factor in my feeling that I won't ever go back on sailing. Unless of course it's my own sail boat!

Cycle Trip Route in Shimla

After going on a very long cycle trip on the next day of buying the cycle, I had hesitated on going on any long trips. A few kilometers in the morning was all I was willing to try. But today I decided to do another long trip and I found a very nice route to do a trip.

I started from my home in Kasumpti and it was all downhill for a good 5 km and pretty quickly I was out of the city area and into the highway area which meant nice trees and rocky hills on one side and a slope with a good view on the other. The downhill part was very refreshing for the mind. But I was also preparing for the uphill mentally. Once the uphill started it came down to endurance, both physical and mental. I found myself wanting in both and after taking one break after 2 km of uphill I only managed to go another kilometre before I gave up.

That meant pushing the bike up for the rest 3 km. While pushing the bike is not actually counted as cycling but it does have a different feel than walking. I managed to encourage myself that this is also a part of cycling for beginners, especially when they weigh 74 kg. The more weight I lose the higher uphill I'll manage to go before having to push.

While I was riding uphill an interesting thing happened. I was looking at the road ahead and how it winded higher and higher along the mountain and I looked at the highest point I could see and thought there's no way I can get there. But then I put my head down and pedaled. I kept pedaling even if at the lowest gear, literally creeping up the mountain. But soon I was at the point I had thought I'll never get to and I looked down at the point where I had felt despondent and I laughed at my silliness. This whole incident is so metaphorical that it blows my mind. Aren't we supposed to do the same thing in life? We look at the future and get hopeless and think we can never achieve anything but if we just put our head down and keep pedaling (or keep walking), soon we'll be where we want to go and we'll be looking ahead to where we are going to go. Higher and higher.

Keep Pedaling

Anyways once I was done with the uphill it was more pleasant plain and downhill riding all the way to home. I found a new way that I had never used before and it is beautifully serene even if you just want to take a walk. Getting back home I felt tired but happy. My ass felt sore but my heart was happy.

Hopefully I'm going to spend many more Sunday's doing more cycle trips like this. This one route I have found is a good 2 hour ride of about 20 km and I hope to explore more routes around Shimla in the future with different difficulty levels. This one I would rate as between pleasant to moderately difficult.

Only people from Shimla are going to understand this but still I'll mention the route here in case anyone who reads this has a geared cycle and lives in Shimla and has an adventurous heart. You start from Chotta Shimla and via Kasumpti you go to Dhalli. Its 6 km downhill and 6 km uphill to Dhalli and the uphill starts at a slow gradient and slowly increases towards the middle before decreasing again. Then cross the tunnel to Sanjauli and from Navbahar take the road to CM's residence via the Raj Bhavan. From CM's residence it's a hop and a skip back to Chotta Shimla.

Endurance sports are my favorite as they test both the body and the mind to its limit. I still need to do much work on both kinds of endurance but I'm going to give myself a bit of motivation now by publically mentioning a very old dream of mine. Hopefully declaring my dream out loud will help me work harder to realize it someday. The dream is to do a cycle tour of the whole of Himachal Pradesh. It's not something too extraordinary but it isn't something too easy either. I hope someday this dream will come true, even though it seems very hard now. I know what I'll do. I'll put my head down and keep pedaling!

Best Sports Movie Ever

they are running for real!

Sports are played for fun, to stay fit and to compete with other people but what about the spectators? It is understandable why people play sports but why do they watch sports? It's because sports inspire people and for a few hours take them out of their mundane lives. Sports movies do the same and as they tell a complete story they are much more inspirational and for this reason they are among my favourite genres of movies.

The best sports movie I ever watched is Chariots of Fire. Everyone knows the story but for the unlucky few who haven't watched it, it's about two British athletes in the 1924 Olympics. Eric Liddell is a devout Scottish Christian and runs for God, while Harold Abrahms is a Jew who runs for himself. The story is much more than just a rivalry between the two athletes. In fact the rivalry is not a real one at all but only in the mind of Harold who tries to be the better athlete and the better man. The story is also not about Christianity Vs Judaism but rather about faith Vs reason. The movie inspires you in a way that you can't even put your finger on exactly how it did it. It just inspires you to live. I am not going to talk about the story or try unwisely to put into words how it moved me but there is one scene that deserves a mention just for its directional excellence.

Both Sides Now

Joni says,

"Bows and flows of angel hair
And ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons everywhere
I've looked at clouds that way

But now they only block the sun
They rain and snow on everyone
So many things I would've done
But clouds got in my way"

I've looked at clouds from both sides now. And I realize that clouds are a part of life. You can't live without them as if you did that would be a terribly boring life. My dreams are many and sometimes I use them to hide away from reality but a life without dreams would be a horribly stagnant life. So I continue to build castles in the air once in a while and toil out in the sun most other times. But I really don't know clouds at all.

"Moons and Junes and Ferris wheels
The dizzy dancing way I feel
As every fairy tale comes real
I've looked at love that way

But now it's just another show
You leave'em laughing when you go
And if you care, don't let them know
Don't give yourself away"

I've looked at love from both sides now. And from both sides it looks to be a amalgam of emotions. Happiness and pain, jealousy and envy, greed and desires, sacrifice and sorrow and so much more. The illusions of love are worth suffering from. Where a mere mortal becomes a god and life seems perfect, and when that god errs and makes humans mistakes life seems hell. It seems to be an ache worth going through. But I really don't know love at all.

"Tears and fears and feeling proud
To say 'I love you' right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds
I've looked at life that way

But now old friends are acting strange
They shake their heads, they say I've changed
Well something's lost and something's gained
In living every day"

I've looked at life from both sides now. And win or lose doesn't really matter in the end. What matters is how much you participated in life. You can choose to not participate in much and so lose less or participate in everything to give yourself a chance to win everything. But if you participate in everything and even if you lose everything you still lived a better life than the one who didn't participate at all. So here I am trying to participate in everything. Well almost everything but I'm afraid in the end like Joni Mitchell I really don't know life at all.